WAG THE DOG

     I'm feeling very pessimistic this week so I hope I don't bring anyone down too much. My goal for the end of the week was to have the first draft of THE MONSTER IN THE BASEMENT finished. A huge task to be sure, but one that was achievable. That was, until I became sick with the flu, suffering all the stings and bile that come with that, coupled with the fact my neck on the right side decided to swell up and become extremely sore for no particular reason. The bloody joys of getting old, yes?

     As a result of all this impending joy, I haven't been able to write, let alone look at a computer screen (looking at this now makes me nauseous and my neck hurts), but this is not a woe is me blog. Just stating the facts, bub. My wife seems to think that I am again being plagued by the, well, plague, because of the pressures of a) writing the new book THE MONSTER IN THE BASEMENT and b) stressing about the sales of my books. As I said last week I have no job, taking a volutary redundancy package from my previous employer. It will tide me over for a few more weeks but the hour of searching for a job is looming fast, unless a miracle happens. And maybe the thought of working for someone else will drive me crazy and make me sick. God knows I hate being stuck in a cubicle or doing some ridiculous menial task just to bring home the bacon, but that's what you have to do right? But I found my mind slipping back to those dark days of bad thoughts, of self loathing that seems to beguile creative people in the modern world. I found myself after a karate class last Friday having a mini breakdown, having to rush home, for no particular reason. What was the cause? Hell if I know. But it wasn't pleasant and not a space I want to be in. I try to pride my self in being positive most of the time, I mean, how else do you get the job done? But by God it's hard and hats of to all of you who have to struggle day in and day out doing what you hate just to survive. That's what being a real hero is about in the modern world.

     Wow, that is a pessimistic assessment, reading back over it. But it's true and I hate not telling the truth. It gets you nowhere. We all have coping mechanisms (mine are probably reading good stories) and whenever your feeling blue or lack the energy to go on, put them into overdrive. At least that's what I plan to do. So I hear by pledge to do nothing for the rest of the week except for this:

THINK ABOUT WHAT I CAN CHANGE TO GET THAT POSITIVE MINDSET BACK. WHAT ARE THE CHANGES THAT CAN FURTHER MY WRITING CAREER? TRY AND BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT I'VE GOT. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, TREASURE THOSE THAT MEAN THE MOST.

Yes, well, not too much to ask is it?

I'll do a better post next time, I promise ;)

What I am reading:

Kirby: The King of Comics by Mark Evanier....A mini biography of one of the most influential artists ever to grace the medium, small on talk but packed with oversized art. A man full of imagination that was taken for granted by all that employed him. Heartbreaking yet inspiring stuff. Read a short bio here.

Have a great week and cheers!

John